I started my week super excited about a spur of the moment job interview. It was right up my alley and such a perfect situation that I could hardly contain myself. I’d missed the call on Friday so when I got back in touch on Monday, they asked if I could come that morning. It was a bit of a rat race but I managed to make it work. There was a mixup and we ended up missing each other but once it was all finally worked out, I met my contact and then another for my interview. I was conference called into another office and the interview started. By the time I left, I was making my way to the car while pulling out my cell phone from my tiny purse. The rule we have is to let each other know how things went. 🙂 if it went well. 😐 if it went so-so or if we’re not sure and 😦 if went poorly. I could feel the tears starting as I typed :(. I drove home in tears not knowing what to do next. I’m in some sort of limbo and I feel horrible. I can’t express the despair and loathing that I go through daily. I cried and cried. And then I stopped. I had to. I had a guest at the house. Corking my feelings turns me into an unbearable person to be around. I’m just miserable and make those around me miserable from my miserableness. But I trudged through.
Skip ahead to today, midweek. I get a call for a book signing. It’s a local thing – nothing huge but it’s a start and the person I spoke with was encouraging and understanding. I’m excited. I’m crying again writing this. I’m happy and afraid and confused about what it is I’m supposed to be doing. I guess that’s life.